The Mezzo Void

Journal 2024 Archive

My journal is like a canvas for self-reflection; which blends art, personal reflections, and insights on creativity. Each entry invites readers to journey alongside me through the highs and lows of artistic expression and life’s seasonal rhythms; among other themes.

What I Love about Journaling- 8/10/24

What I appreciate about journaling is that I simply write and it flows how it flows. I type out my emotions and it’s ok if they run over the brim of the cup, since there’s no penalty for being a run on sentence, for example, but the writing lab sees it different. According to the grammar police who are normally coming after me for poor sentence structure; long sentences may cause readers to get lost but they are also more indicative of academic writing. This can be challenging to escape sometimes but being on my own accord means that I embrace it; including the inconsistent punctuation and abstract language. I am guilty of these myself but that doesn't prevent me from plugging away at my ideas, with free form writing. I'm still responsible for cultivating my own style, in all of its quirks and imperfections. After all, personal writing should read more like organic prose because of the freedom which it affords. Keeping in mind that informality shouldn’t be an excuse for a lack of coherence but the material that is produced can often be raw and authentic. It becomes the ultimate means of self-expression, in an experimental space where I am free from the nuances of things like citations (Chicago style, MLA and APA).

The Politics of Ice Cream: How I See it- 8/5/24

Not writing about politics often makes me fussy about the ways in which it’s presented not oblivious. Rest assured I can find politics in just about everything including ice cream and the symbolism is real. Mint chocolate chip, for example, is emerging and could very well represent the citizens; which is a relatively young notion when paralleled against the history of human societies. Chocolate is decadent, elitist and posh like government; this is where the battle begins. Enjoying a mixture of flavors like gold medal ribbon and rainbow sherbet is a blend of both worlds; light and rich-independent...striving to bring each other into greater harmony. Strawberry is creamy and tangy- modern liberalism pushing for adaptation to new ideas like greater safety nets. Rocky road is socialist-with nuts and marshmallows; diverse contributions to chocolate ice cream...anti-capitalism, sharing and inclusivity. Butter pecan is toasty with sweet vanilla-clearly conservative. Butter and pecans equal tradition; a calculated approach being the antithesis to broad sweeping reform. While most people are picking out ice cream flavors; I’m guilty of sometimes assigning economic systems to them. This is a continuous dialogue for anyone who has ever wondered what their choice of ice cream might say about them.

Reflections from the Fair- 8/5/24

It’s hard to say what grabbed my attention most at the county fair; if it was the sugary fluff of cotton candy mingled with freshly mowed grass, the various flavors of dipping dots ice cream that called out from their stands or the commotion surrounding people waiting to board the rides? I personally don’t ride any attractions because if I stand still long enough; life will jerk the fuck out of me for free. Ironically I was standing next to people who were talking about how much crazier rides have become, since we were kids. Together we watched them go by but what was most interesting is how these casual interactions allow people who don’t know each other to partake in a shared experience. It was spontaneity that helped to foster a genuine interconnectedness; despite being a small moment. Humans can be communal creatures and small talk need not be frivolous. I’ve learned that it is exchanges like this that can help shape the ways in which we think of communities.

Reaching 100,000 Views at Neocities- 6/1/24

As web creators, we put a lot into shaping virtual experiences for viewers. This may include designing a new layout or implementing javascript animation. Regardless of the output, most of us live for the heterogeneity (the variety) in website creation and are always looking for sites to link up with. We put our websites on display and wait for new alliances to form. We wait to see who gravitates towards us and also who we gravitate towards over time. We continue making our way into the macrocosm of a burgeoning community; with the goal of establishing a digital presence and here we are- at the milestone of 100,000 views. Thanks!

Groundlessness -5/4/24

Being groundless means that my dreams aren’t dragging me around anymore, I’m not worried about where I’m going to end up after grad school because I’m already there. My identity is no longer wrapped up in the acquisition of material things. A lot of what use to define me has gone away; the brightness of my eyes, the perfume I use to wear and the things that use to move me but what I have held onto is my resolve, in a myriad of life’s complexities. Much like flora I’ve often learned how to be resilient and adjust to the circumstances I find myself in; whether it’s job loss, death of a loved one or health ailments. There is something to be said for the ability to thrive in the middle of a crisis; this is where most spiritual growth is done and also where the most strength is gained. It takes self-awareness to find or see the purpose in change, although it’s not easy. Like plants I’ve learned to adapt to many different types of environments; being part of a diverse species who contributes to the ecosystem of survival.

What I've Observed about Schools of Fish- 5/3/24

Watching schools of fish glide through the water, their synchronized movements were charming. Despite the various species in densely populated aquariums, they swam respectfully to each other; a harmonious display of choreography with a certain preciseness. They are impeccable with their spacial dynamics and navigate the waters and the current gracefully unlike humans. We often collide, clash, pang and bump into each other- sometimes with our literal bodies but frequently in our interchange. According to Pew Research Center, “Far more Americans see ‘very strong’ partisan conflicts now than in the last two presidential election years.” We even carry on metaphorically; drowning in the dogmatism of ideology but there’s a lesson somewhere. What I’ve come to understand is that man’s natural tendency is down; being deeply encumbered- motivated by themes like power and greed (not just food and territory). This is in stark comparison to these aquatic entities who can offer us a lesson or 2 from their play book. The observation of these vertebrates made me think on the significance of stimulating good will between individuals. It becomes apparent that fish could teach us how to live together harmoniously. To take this a step further; maybe people will someday look to marine existence, as a model for how life should be lived.

My Web Design Journey- 5/1/24

I realize it's impossible to do it all; debunking the myth of a one person agency, even with multi-disciplinary experience under the belt. Some of the brightest minds sometimes collaborate with colleagues who compliment their abilities to achieve goals related to the web. Nowadays I would need to be a web designer, project manager, copywriter, web tester, artist, graphic designer, web developer, writer...possibly more to make ideas come to life in a cohesive manner. I would have to harness all of this expertise; with an unrealistic goal of innovating concepts. As a result, it’s challenging to find just a solitaire creator these days, which can often lead to a disruptive workflow. I’ve learned that tapping into my pool of professional resources and leveraging the power of diverse skill sets has moved me closer to my goal than by working alone. This has allowed me to achieve my objectives more effectively, while offering a supportive environment. Needless to say, networking within my circle has made all the difference in the completion of this site.

The Tyranny of Other People's Recommended Reads- 3/27/24

I’ve sometimes found myself browsing through other people’s recommended reads on their webpage. I get it! since I also share a curated book list with my visitors. Oftentimes, we as web designers feel compelled to put together reading material that has helped to shape our lives in some profound way. These suggestions can be used, as a guide that just may expand one’s literary repertoire by offering an escape or by leaving you captivated. These digs can inspire or open up self-reflection and aren’t necessarily meant to weigh down visitors. Hopefully I’m not just peddling my politic but am presenting narratives that embody the human experience and its intricacies; causing you to feel or react. One might interpret this tyranny of other people’s recommended reads as real but these lists encourage some self-guided direction; which is independent, improvisational and free flowing. There is something radical about a serendipitous stumble on a book that grounds your perspective. As a result, I understand how easy it is to be swarmed by reading recommendations but also recognize them, as necessary tools for personal transformation.

Art Feature- 3/1/24

Some of my work is being featured by The Multiple Sclerosis Association of America (MSAA); a national non-profit organization established during the 70’s. It's flattering to see my creations showcased by an entity that provides assistance to individuals living with ms. Thanks to art, we as members, can go beyond conversations about mris and relapses; to creating an open dialogue about the disease. This annual feature shows the richness of life despite the disease. Art serves many roles but most importantly it has a dual purpose, as a tool to empower and also help heal. Other reasons for creating art include to beautify and connect with communities. Ironically, I happen to be one of those people who creates mostly because it gives me a sense of purpose.

Defining Success on My Own Terms- 2/21/24

This world will make you crazy, if you don’t grab ahold of yourself. I say this because markets are always telling us what to buy- dictating our shopping habits and identity; if not a product then telling us how to live; selling us on an ideal like happiness, as if 1 size fits all. The end goal of buying into it; is supposed to make us a happy functioning member of society but fighting the urge is a must. Articles that offer up the type of life I should have make me skeptical. An example of this, is an article over at yourcnb.com titled "Important Milestones you Should Reach by Age 40;" tells you that you should have some idea of your career trajectory by a certain age. Realistically this is just not going to be everyone’s narrative and that’s ok, especially since unpredictability seems to be the rule not the exception. Going with that uncertainty means going with the natural flow of life, which can be freeing. After all, it's will that makes us ultimately responsible for defining success on our own terms; not a checklist created by someone else. By breaking out of the expectations imposed by society; we can live a more stress free life.

Why I Prefer Linux- 2/2/24

It dawned on me, that Windows doesn’t really require that users keep learning but Linux encourages enthusiasts to explore tech realms. I’ve learned the command line, gnu tools and file system structure, for example. Some of the other perks and benefits of using this os includes the fact that you are using community- driven software not corporation ran; so there’s no need to buy a new software license every 2 years, or so. Additionally, I can choose from a wide array of distributions depending on what my needs are. Mint, for example, is good for all general purposes and Fedora is good for programming languages but it doesn’t end there. Linux is impartial to older computers, since it’s less resource demanding. Another great thing about this os is that I have control over my updates and can reboot when I want. This was not my experience with Windows which was/ is far more restrictive. Nevertheless, I’ve been free from the bonds of Microsoft for nearly a year now and have been enjoying the freedom of non-proprietary software. If you need more information on what this Unix like os has to offer, you can visit Linux.com.