Journal

While this journal may focus on daily experiences and personal reflections; it is also used, as a space to explore broader topics like the highs and lows of artistic expression and life’s seasonal rhythm. As a result, you'll find a mix of personal updates and deeper thoughts, since I'm going with what feels most authentic to me.

Archive: 2024

Learning How to be a Blessing Not a Burden- 3/1/25

Practicing Quietude- 2/1/25

It’s 1am and here I am with some sort of revelation about the nature of the society that we live in, which doesn’t exactly embrace solitude but this is when some of my most transformative work takes place. It happens after the day has subsided and quiet covers the land or at least covers me. I find myself unafraid of being alone with my thoughts and, in fact, welcome them. Being still with our thoughts is truly an art form. Being present with those thoughts; allowing them to come and go, as they please is most natural, as opposed to letting the noise drown them out. The irony is that quietude is a privilege seeing as how we live in a society that is addicted to being wired; whether it’s the internet or the phone but it’s good to step away for a while. I find myself trying to practice carving out a time for so much stillness per day, in order to hit that emotional reset button and find some lucidity.

My Birthday- 11/15/24

For my birthday, my bestie bought me an art kit to help take my creations to the next level. It includes Canson multimedia paper, 2 kneaded erasers, a white eraser, a pencil sharpener, 2 sandpaper pencil sharpeners, a set of 16 blending stumps with the case, a pencil extender, a 6 pack of Staedtler pencils and a mechanical pencil with the lead replacements HB and 2B. A middle range of art supplies are a good thing to have as they set me up for a new journey. I bought myself some Liquitex acrylic paint and professional brushes too. Success is part tool/ part technique; a sweet spot can usually give the desired results without excesses or restrictions but while unwrapping gifts; I thought about the bigger picture. It becomes apparent that it’s good to have a passion, a hobby or something to be inspired by. It’s good to have these things that help to give me a break from the daily grind, otherwise I might just crack under the pressure of routine. When monotony begins to suffocate my senses, this can lead to pure madness but there is a way out. I’m sure that just about everyone has something that they enjoy whether it’s fishing, photography or traveling. Whatever your thing is; it’s good enjoy it to the fullest and allow it to enrich your life.

Me, Fall & the Earth’s Cycle- 10/31/24

It’s that time of year- Samhain, which in ancient Celtic culture it is believed to be a time when the veil between the living and the dead is thinnest; allowing spirits to roam. This pagan festival has since morphed into a contemporary celebration, such as Halloween bringing with it a reminder of the earth’s cycle. As a result, it's easy to find myself turning inward during this season. This also means that my mood is sulky, creating is less often and those seasonal cravings are sneaking up. You’d imagine that I could be bursting at the seams of creativity- inspired by the changes in the external landscape; drawing up some fall themed pieces or writing about apple orchards but this is not the case. It becomes apparent that the patterns of the natural world impact our mood. As a result, being curled up—swaddled in layers of quietude, nestled at the bosom of fall is the norm. It’s wise for me not to think of this sulkiness, as part of any impediment but perhaps an opportunity to explore new ideas. By surrendering the need to know what direction I’m heading at every moment and going with the natural flow of things, I welcome the divine order. We, as sentient creatures are not apart from life; we are part of it. The leaves are turning gold, the air is filled by pumpkin spice and daylight remding us that we honor a palpable, feeling Goddess. Embracing the beauty of fall means accepting the fact that nature is on a retreat and this transformation is also taking place within me. Many things slow down: certain plants become dormant, outdoor events like weddings become less frequent and summer vacations end; signaling a reflective period. It is during this time that the planet recharges and we are encouraged to re-connect with ourselves. Being less active means that my efforts can be re-focused during these long days. Many of us are creating fertile ground from which ideas will hopefully bloom. Nevertheless, there is a lot of free space allocated to development; once creativity re-emerges.